New Year Nuggets – No Fear No Regret
A recent conversation and discussion about living 2015 with No Fear & No Regret reminded me of how I choose to view the PAST. Therefore I wanted to share some thoughts while we are still on the front end of 2015:
The word REGRET itself, and the way we use it in our culture and language today tends to point to the past and conveys a negative or remorseful feeling. Let’s face it, you never hear anyone say “I regret what the future holds for me”. This is not intended to be an English/Grammar lesson, so although regret can be used in present, past, and future tense we tend to use regret to refer to events/views that occurred in the past and those views/events are typically portrayed negatively or at best with remorse.
By its definition regret clutches to feeling words of disappointment, sorrow, remorse, or a sense of loss. Regret is one of those “feelings” words that not only projects feelings, but projects them negatively.
For 2015, it is important to affirm that you make a conscious decision and choose NOT to live in REGRET! Regret should be viewed or compared similarly to how I reflect on the Past (see below). Ultimately the choice is yours. A life without regret is a much more abundant choice towards happiness. The choice to live without regret, further exhibits your conscious efforts to focus on your growth, and illuminates your path towards wisdom.
The discussion of the word regret drew me to reflect on some teachings and points I have shared with clients over the years. These points on the PAST and FEELINGS associated with the past are important to address while still early in the New Year.
When looking at the PAST…in an effort to move forward, do not to dwell on the FEELINGS. We can learn from those experiences and gain things from them…but we cannot dwell on the FEELINGS the past brings…only learn from the experiences and proactively determine how we will change and how we will move forward in a Proactive state of mind.
How to Handle the Past Positively:
1) Do Not DWELL on the PAST FEELINGS
2) Set REALISTIC Expectations of what the FUTURE can hold and focus on the future.
3) Learn from those experiences, and know we CANNOT change the past, the only thing we can do is to begin to SHAPE the future the way we would like for it to look….There is always a chance to change the future just utilize and plan for realistic small steps one at a time.
The points on REGRET and the PAST, may appear to be semantics, but for those reading this who have participated in the Next Level Achievement System, and use The Achievement Planner you will remember the importance of writing a Five Year Vision Statement, and writing it in in the future but writing it in Present Tense, as if you have already arrived. It is vital to help you visualize that picture of you already being there.
5 Year Vision Statement – Remember to update it annually
The Vision Statement creates a mental picture in your head the way you want your future to be. Psychologists have confirmed this with regards to expectations. With no expectations there is nowhere to move so you stay where you are in that state of “sameness” that so many refer to as comfort zones. Those same comfort zones that our natural human instincts interpret as physical security.
Once you have a mental picture in your head that picture acts as a magnet, just as a magnet draws metal to its source. The Vision Statement draws you closer to the future, the way you want your future to be. So if it has been over a year since you last wrote your 5 Year Vision Statement, January in a new year always serves as a good reminder to please update that. Remember use Present Tense as if you are already there but pick a date 5 years into the future. To create a strong mental picture use your imagination and write it descriptively using your senses such as sights and smells etc…
I hope this has been helpful, and I wanted to reiterate and further declare my choice in 2015:
“I will overcome Fear, & I will NOT live in Regret!”
David Byrd is an author, coach, consultant, and a developer of personal growth behaviors in pursuit of Achievement. Founder and CEO of David Byrd Consulting, LLC,he is a master of effective leadership and works closely with leaders and their organizations worldwide utilizing a system of personal management and achievement called the Next Level Achievement System™. He is a best-selling author with four published books, a sought after speaker, and leadership development consultant.